Have you made it?
What is success? Beautiful house, perfect partner and children, a European car or a high-powered job? All of the above? What determines our success and who determines it?
Everyday we get up, go to work, come home, eat, sleep and repeat. Essentially, we all do this. So, what is success. At the end of the day, you determine your own success, not every other mofo you find on Facebook or instagram. What is important to you should be your counter for success. We talk about deal breakers in relationship but was is the deal breaker in the relationship you with you?
Your deal breakers for you and yourself determines your success. If you think an awesome high-flying job is key to your success, then that is what makes you successful. If you think that it’s your level of spirituality, then again you are successful. The problem is when we compare or feel pressured to fit some formula of success based on people who are not us.
The ideal me would have been for a long time Me in suit during the week and on the weekend in my leisure wear sipping a dirty chai latte, whilst driving hopefully my environmentally friend Tesla (just because we might not be filling it with diesel, what materials were used to make the car and when it was shipped to you was it carbon neutral?) and my little pooch, with my hand bag worthy partner (in truth I just bought a designer bag, it looked just as good on my arm).
Easy for me to say now that I have made it to the other side. But for a long time, the upward trajectory of my career equated my success and all I was missing was my equally successful partner. What fuelled this feeling is the fact that people around me thought this made me a success. People from the outside think wow she has it all except for the Armani suited man next to her. I never really was close to having it all but quickly I too thought I nearly had it all and I lived a life that from the outside looked amazing. If only they knew how egotistical and shallow, I had become. Maybe they did and thought this little ball of rage would not be able to take the truth. Every time you meet other’s expectations of yourself which are not aligned to yourself, a bit of you is lost, only you have force to get it back.
We are always in search of something, when you are not then something is wrong. A better you tomorrow should be goal for all. But the better you is entirely up to you. The idea of a successful career woman and a loving earth goddess afterhours is the ideal most women my age feel they need to achieve. Well I totally F*d that up and so have a lot of others. Despite all of this we continue to question our successfulness. I actually admire people who live life with a minimalist approach, be it the physical items on our lives or the minimal but meaningful relationship to life. Have I got there no, will I get there maybe no, but we can try and when I (not you), achieve that, I would consider myself (not you) as a success. So using the mentality of “subtle art of not giving a f**k”, tell all the others (mentally not literally) to get F*d, use your p’s and q’s. This doesn’t also make us more superior once we realise what is successful for us. We don’t need to become preachers. Maybe someone will write a book about the subtle art of being successful. And for those who still judge us, maybe we could write “the subtle art of not being a c**t”.